Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
