It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
