By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
We're too hungover to prance.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
