Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
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We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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