The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
Randomize
