12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
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