I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
