peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
this just has baby written all over it
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
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