We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
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