I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
