Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
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