I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
