Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
