Where is the hickey?
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
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