Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
Randomize
