Taylor Swift is so right about you.
I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
