You work out of a Hotel?
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
Randomize
