Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Randomize