so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
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