I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
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