just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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