My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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