i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Randomize
