Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Randomize
