Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
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