He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
no you cant smoke seaweed
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
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