just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
So apparently I’m into choking now
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
