Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
My vagina just clenched in fear
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Randomize