I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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