Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
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