I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
