I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize