p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Randomize
