I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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