Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
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