There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
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