Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Randomize
