we have pet lesbian snakes
i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
Randomize