It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
Randomize
