i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
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