You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
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