Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
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