I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
Randomize
