I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
