i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
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