She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
Randomize
