Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
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