All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
Randomize