She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
Enjoy the penises
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Randomize
