Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
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