Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
Randomize
