Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
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