That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
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