I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
We are two peas in an std pod
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize
