Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
