i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
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