She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
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He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
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I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
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