are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
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