thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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