The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
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