I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Randomize
