At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
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