And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
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