I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
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