I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Randomize
