If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
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