omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt