the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
i drank out of a bidet.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO