shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.