Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
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She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
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somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
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